So a small introduction first… the day after my 39th birthday I embarked on my plan to be fit by 40. The first stage is to lose the 2 and a half stone of extra weight I’m carrying. I don’t just want to be thinner though, I want to be fitter and more healthy too. When I started just over a month ago I started writing a diary for myself. Not every day and just a few notes on how I was feeling, how things were going and basically just something to encourage me to be mindful and stay on track.  I wasn’t initially planning on publishing it on my blog but I’m a month in and I thought it might actually be a good idea. There’ll a couple of catch up posts first, so here are the start of my weight loss diaries, Days 0 -13…

29^th May 2017 // Day 0

Finished the last of the birthday Maltesers and birthday cake, the diet/ lifestyle change starts tomorrow. Starting weight 13st 3lb.

1^st June 2017 // Day 3

Three days in – shakes for breakfast and tea on Tuesday and Wednesday. Just shake for breakfast today then normal lunch and tea. Still failing at not picking bits off the kid’s plates. I just hate throwing stuff away so much. Bought a new t-shirt from Aldi yesterday (size 18 but their sizes are all over the place anyway). Looking forward to losing some weight so I can buy clothes from somewhere other than the supermarket – at the moment I always think I don’t want to spend too much on clothes for myself if they’re going to end up being too big (although I could have bought clothes three years ago that would still fit me now so I’ve not really slimmed out of anything).

Struggling a bit with feeling hungry and wanting to reach for the snacks/chocolate. I really need to retrain my brain somehow otherwise I’m just going to go back to my old ways. Any ideas? I wonder if hypnotherapy would work – or if I can afford it?

6^th June 2017 // Day 8

3 lbs down this morning which I’m very pleased about. My measurements have gone down a bit too. I’ve been doing OK food wise – still picking a bit but haven’t had any blow outs. I shared a piece of cake with Toby and Gabe on Friday, and a couple of ice creams with Gabe last week too. And I had a couple of glasses of wine over the weekend. So I don’t need to deprive myself to lose weight, just make sensible choices.

I’ve been trying to cook and serve smaller portions for Barry and I – even if it means putting some left overs in the fridge. And I’ve been a bit better at not finishing the boys’ plates too.

I’ve just agreed to do a 4 week diet plan review. I’ll still be able to eat my tea with the boys with a bit of careful planning but I’m hoping that because it’s for the blog I’ll stick to it and shift some serious weight over the next month. If I can lose a stone then that will be a big chunk of the total I want to lose. No cake or big coffees for a month is going to be hard though….

11^th June 2017 // Day 13

I’ve not been doing brilliantly food wise – a few too many sweets creeping in (and a McDonalds and Krispy Kreme last week). Still not had any big chocolate binges though so that’s something. I’ve been doing quite well with the smaller portions at least. I’m hoping I’ll still have lost some weight on Tuesday – I think I will have, even if it’s only a pound or two.

On Tuesday I’ll be starting this new diet review too so we’ll see how that goes. I’m really going to try and stick to it without any cheating. I shouldn’t really call it that. I really wish I had a healthy relationship with food, but I just don’t, and I don’t know how to change that. I suppose the big thing to tackle is binging and emotional eating. I’ve been doing it for so long though that I just don’t know where to start – I wonder if there’s some sort of online course I could do that would help?

So that was the first two weeks more or less, I’ll be back with another installment soon to bring us up to date.