Living Arrows 25/52

After recovering from our holiday we’ve had a quiet, back to normal, week at home. At the beginning of the week Toby gave us a couple of wakeful nights but things seem to have settled down now. Whatever was bothering him (probably bloody teeth again!) has stopped for now and we had a good few nights of sleeping through. This weekend though I left Daddy in charge while I went to London for Britmums Live and to visit my brother. Three whole days away from my little boy! I put him to bed on Thursday night and didn’t see him again until this morning! Father and son both survived relatively unscathed though and despite missing them both like crazy I had a lovely few days where I didn’t have to be responsible for anyone except myself.

I couldn’t wait to get back to this giggly monkey though…
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Self-confidence // You either have it or you don’t?

I’m writing this as I make my way to Britmums Live – a blogging conference with over 500 bloggers of whom I have met precisely one before. In the run up to the event I’ve read lots of blog posts and tweets from people saying how nervous they are; people worried about their journeys, negotiating public transport, meeting people they’ve only ever spoken to online before (or never spoken to at all). And it got me thinking… I’m not nervous at all. I’ve done all sorts of things on my own before (and I’ll tell you about a few of them in a minute) so a couple of days in London on my own doesn’t really phase me. But I am just lucky that I was born with self-confidence? Is it just an inherent part of my personality or did perhaps my upbringing have anything to do with it?

To be honest I really have no idea!

The first time I went away without my parents was to Brownie pack holiday when I was about seven or eight. I wasn’t homesick in the slightest, just very proud of myself for getting a gold star for eating rice pudding when my mum had told them I wouldn’t!

Age eleven I spent a week at Butlins with my primary school. Again didn’t miss home at all, just enjoyed rocking my shiny Puma tracksuit.

When I was fourteen I went to Canada for three weeks with Guides. I remember the other girls all in floods of tears as they said goodbye to their parents. Not me though – a quick hug and a wave and off I strolled through the departure gate without so much as a backwards glance! Two of the three weeks were spent staying with Canadian families, on my own with people I’d never met before, and then a week at an international camp. It was an amazing experience and I think I remembered to ring home at least twice while I was there…

There were plenty more Guide camps during my teenage years and I don’t once ever remember being homesick.

When I was eighteen I left home to go to university and moved into halls with seven girls I didn’t know. Admittedly I was only an hour away from home but I only really went back in the holidays or if I was ill (mainly because I couldn’t be bothered registering with a new doctor in Manchester).

In between my second and third years at uni I spent my first of six summers working on a campsite in France. This one was quite a big adventure, even for me! That first season I spent ten weeks living and working with people I’d never met before but I made lots of new friends (some of whom I still see now) and I absolutely loved it. Which is why I kept going back for more. Every year from 1998 until 2003 I set off for a new season, in a new area, with more new people. I never felt nervous about going away. I’ll admit there were times I missed home a bit but only really when I was feeling a bit ill, or the partying and lack of sleep was catching up with me. There was only one time though that I genuinely wanted to go home – in the winter of 1999-2000 I worked in the French Alps as a ski rep. On Christmas Eve I slipped in the pub toilet (although later I always told customers it was a skiing accident!) and did something to my ankle. And so I spent my first Christmas away from home having my ankle x-rayed in a French doctor’s surgery and being told I had badly pulled the ligaments and would need to spend the next month in an ankle brace! Yeah, that was one time I did feel like going home.

In 2003 I decided (on a bit of a whim) to go to New York, just because I’d always wanted to go there. I spent a week on my own in the city and it was brilliant. I’d love to go back there with my family one day. I actually ended up meeting up with my step-great-uncle while I was there but I didn’t even know he existed until after I’d booked the trip.

2003 was also the year I moved to Scotland and I did lots of travelling, in the UK and Europe, for my job. I loved travelling on my own and started to feel really at home in airports and on trains.

My next big adventure though wasn’t until 2010. I’d just finished my teacher training and was free for the summer until I had to start my first teaching job. So I went to America again. On my own. This time it was a three week road trip starting with three nights in San Francisco and then driving down the Atlantic Highway to LA (where I met up with a friend and fellow Tim Minchin fan who I had met once before). From there I drove across Arizona to the Grand Canyon (see one of the many selfies I took on the trip below!) and finally spent three days in Las Vegas, where I met up with another American pal. Inspired by family holidays where we would book the ferry to France with the caravan and then just stay wherever we fancied, moving when we felt like it, I only booked my flights to the US, car hire, and the hotels at either end of the trip. I had a vague plan but for the two weeks in between I just drove and stopped at motels I found along the way. It was an amazing holiday and lots of people told me I was brave for going on my own but it didn’t feel brave to me. This was when I was still single (in fact I met my husband a couple of days before I left for America but that’s another story) and if I didn’t go on this trip on my own I wasn’t going to get to go at all. And I really wanted to go, so I did.

We repeated a similar trip for our honeymoon two years later but on the east coast of America that time.

Anyway, my point is that I did all this stuff and I was never scared or nervous about any of it. I think that’s just the way I am though, I don’t think it’s something I’ve learned or had to work at, it’s just something I was lucky enough to be born with. And so as I head into central London to meet over 500 other bloggers all I am is excited! In fact the only thing I was nervous about this weekend was leaving Barry in charge of Toby (or maybe it’s the other way around!) but I know they’ll be fine so I’m just going to stop worrying about them and make the most of my three baby-free days!

Grand Canyon selfie

Toby is eleven months old

eleven months oldWe’re a little bit late this month – Toby actually turned eleven months old when we were in France last week. I can’t believe in less than a month I’ll have a one year old baby!

I haven’t weighed or measured Toby this month but he is definitely still growing. I’ve just had to put him into bigger sleepsuits as his toes were getting squashed in the bottom of his old ones. All his clothes now are 12-18 months but I’m starting to find that a lot of things are too big round the waist and the sleeves too long but the smaller sizes aren’t long enough. The perils of having a tall baby I suppose!

This month’s major development has to be standing up! Toby can now pull himself to standing easily using his cot or the play pen (or anything he can get his hands on really) and once he’s stood up he’s fairly stable and can just hold on with one hand. He’s started cruising along the edge of his play pen too. Weirdly though he doesn’t want to stand up at all when we’re holding him, only when he’s pulled himself up on his own! There were a few tumbles and bumped heads when Toby first started pulling himself up but he seems to have worked out how to sit back down without too much of a bang now. He can also get himself from crawling to sitting now so he’s can really move wherever he wants to. This means he’s much happier to play on his own for a while as he doesn’t get stuck in one position and need help to move. I love seeing him getting more independent although it is sometimes a pain when he wants to explore and gets into everything he shouldn’t!

We’ve had a little bit of a break from teething this month – Toby now has four teeth on top and three on bottom. We did think the other bottom one was coming at the same time as its partner but it hasn’t made an appearance yet. With teeth though has come a new problem – Toby has taken to biting us! I don’t think he is doing it with any intention of hurting us but it really does when he gives you a good nip, and I’ve got the bruises to prove it! I can usually tell when a bite might be coming though and make sure I stop Toby and and we’re trying to teach him ‘no’, although with limited success so far!

Of course this month also saw Toby’s first foreign holiday and he was great the whole time. He coped especially well with the three day drive to get there and the two day drive to get home. We had a few crying episodes when he had just woken up and he had to wait for us to get to the next services but for the most part he did really well. Sleep was a bit hit and miss, he woke up at least once most nights but he settled back to sleep OK most of the time. Since we came home though sleep hasn’t been so good – the last couple of nights Toby has woken up crying and taken ages to settle again. He seems to be OK when I pick him up and give him a cuddle but as soon as I put him back in the cot he just starts screaming, and I mean really screaming. I have a feeling he might have a bit of an ear infection so if tonight is no better I’m going to take him to the doctor’s to get checked out. Fingers crossed he gets over what ever it is soon though.

Other than that my little monkey is still showing his personality every day. After mastering saying ‘Dada’ (and not saying much else for a few weeks) he is now babbling even more and making a few more sounds. No Mama yet though… He was copying Barry and my dad shaking their heads on holiday too which he thought was very funny. And I think lastly, my favourite development this month is that Toby has developed his cuddling technique! For a while now he has kind of snuggled into my neck when I pick him up but now he has started putting his arms round my neck too. It’s so cute!

So that’s my little boy; eleven months old and less than a month to go until his very first birthday.

Living Arrows 24/52

We had a lovely holiday in France but I am glad to be back home with reliable wifi and a comfy sofa, and back in our big bed! I’m going to write a post all about our holiday but Toby was a little superstar the whole time we were away, he didn’t seem phased by living in a mobile home for ten days, eating al fresco or anything else. We had lovely weather for the most part too despite how it looks in this week’s Living Arrows photo. This one was taken alongside the harbour in Vannes after a tasty lunch and a wander round the shops.

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I’m going to Britmums Live!

If you’re a parent blogger, or a regular reader of parent blogs then you might be aware of a little blogging conference called Britmums Live which is happening in London this weekend. Over 500 bloggers will meet to learn more about blogging, chat to their fellow bloggers and most importantly it seems, drink gin! Despite a fruitless search for a sponsor my lovely husband has agreed to let me spend some of his hard-earned wages to join in the fun. I’m really looking forward to meeting some of the people I’ve been chatting to online, and whose blogs I have been reading…and if you read Toby Goes Bananas then please do come and say hi!

Anyway, seeing as Britmums Live is less than a week away I thought I would join in the Britmums linky and introduce myself.

Name: Sarah

Blog: Toby Goes Bananas

Twitter ID: @tobygoesbananas

Height: 5′ 5″

Hair: Very short crop, dyed red (although just how red depends on whether I get chance to dye it again before the weekend!)

Eyes: Two. (Don’t ask me what colour; they’re bluey-greeny-greyey and seemingly change colour every day!). They may be hidden behind glasses depending on how much my hayfever is bothering me and so whether or not I can wear my contact lenses.

Is this your first blogging conference? Yes!

Are you attending both days? Certainly am. I’m travelling down from Scotland so I’m not going to miss a minute!

What are you most looking forward to at BritMums Live 2014? Meeting other bloggers – especially those whose blogs I have read and who I have chatted to online before.

What are you wearing? To be honest I’m a bit concerned about how much importance everyone seems to be placing on what they are going to wear – it seems some people are spending a fortune on new outfits and have been talking about it for months. I would love to get new clothes but on maternity pay I’ll be digging something out from the wardrobe! Probably a dress/tunic and leggings on Friday and jeans with some sort of smartish top on Saturday. Definitely flat shoes, I hardly ever wear heels so I’m not about to start now!

What do you hope to gain from BritMums Live 2014? Lots of ideas of how I can improve and grow my blog; there are so many great sessions I’m struggling to choose which ones to go to.

Do you have any tips to pass on to others who may not have been before? Having not been before myself, no. But if anyone reading this has been then feel free to pass your tips my way!

And finally…there are loads of pictures of me on here but just for good measure, here’s me (although I don’t always look like I’ve just had my photo taken by my wonderfully talented sister-in-law photographer!):

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The Mother-in-Law

The Mother-in-Law

I’ve got another guest post today – this time from the lovely Lucinda over at Teacher 2 Mummy. Sometimes there are just things you don’t want to say on your own blog…

This post is about ‘mother in law woes’, sometimes you just need to get something off your chest! I have wanted to write this post for a long time but it’s not appropriate for my blog (for obvious reasons). Firstly though, thank you to Sarah for having me as a guest poster on Toby Goes Bananas!

Before I get into any moaning I think it’s best to start with the good stuff…
My OH’s mum is fab with Eliot, she adores him and he loves being in her company. She looks after him two full days a week while we are at work and also does a bit of tidying when he’s napping. She also helps out by taking him out for a walk if things need to be done at home. For these reasons and more I’m very grateful for her but there are several things that just drive me potty!

I wonder is it me just being…well me? Or do many of you feel a similar way with your MIL? I find that there a certain things she may do with Eliot that bother me immensely, however if it’s my mum she would never do them or they bother me less (or not at all). Speaking to one of my best friends she said she feels the same!

I’ll share a few of the things that I’m taking about (some I’m sure will infuriate you too).

1. The day after Eliot was born I was in hospital with him when he began choking on some fluid that he’d brought up. After pressing the emergency button, a midwife simply turned him over (facing the floor) and patted his back. She explained it was fluid that hadn’t been expelled during birth and it could happen again. Now I knew what to do I wasn’t worried.
It did happen again, when my OH and his mum were there. So I did just as the midwife had shown/explained. Except my MIL thought she knew better and literally snatched him off me. It happened to be during a nappy change and just at this point the meconium made it’s appearance. All over my MIL, the floor, the bed. Eliot began to scream as he was also covered in his own…mess. I was fuming!

2. A health visitor was on the ward and she popped over to help us clean the mess. My MIL then turned her and said ‘Can you show him how to hold a baby properly’ referring to my OH. I snapped at this point and said ‘he doesn’t need showing how to hold a baby’. Seriously?!

I really wish I’d said something after number 1. as it still bothers me now.

3. When the midwife who delivered Eliot was on a routine visit with a student midwife, my MIL also happened to be visiting. She asked them something about Milton sterilising fluid but basically not asking outright if it’s something we should be doing as we were obviously doing the wrong thing when sterilising his bottles (we use a microwave steriliser). Grrrrr!

4. Eliot has had a dummy from about 2 weeks. Now I know there are mixed views about dummies but a my MIL has quite a different one. She said in the early days that he looked ‘cute’ with his dummy. For her it seemed like just a reason to give him one. Obviously I don’t want him using one if he doesn’t ‘need’ it. So it thoroughly annoyed me when she would ask ‘where’s his dummy’ and give him it when he didn’t need one.

5. When we went to an antenatal class we were told by midwives to apply a thin layer of cream after nappy changing to still allow the skin to breathe. My MIL thinks she knows better and slathers cream on, even though I’ve repeatedly asked/told her not to. Once I was tidying Eliot’s room when she was changing his nappy and she deliberately stood in front of him so she could stop me seeing how much cream she put on. Arrrggh!

I’m not sure if she knows I can read her like a book!

6. The most recent thing has been taking him to a chemist to ask about his cheeks because they have been very red (due to teething & catching the sun). To me this totally undermines what we are doing as parents.

There are many more but these are ones that stand out for me.

What it boils down to is that she doesn’t listen to our wishes, she will pick him up when we wouldn’t, she will shove a dummy in just for the sake of it and she thinks she knows better. I know a lot of people say (some) grandparents are like that but I know that’s not true. One of my colleagues is a nan and said she follows her granddaughters routine to a tee. She said she wouldn’t go against her son and daughter in law’s wishes.

So what do you think? Would the above bother you as much as it bothers me?

Thanks again Lucinda for sharing your MIL troubles! My mum and my mother-in-law both live over 200 miles away so we don’t get to see them that often…and so they never really get chance to do anything that might annoy us! What do you think though? Do you just have to put up with the annoying stuff, especially if your mother-in-law (or any other relative) is looking after your child for you?

Living Arrows 23/52

We’re on holiday in Brittany this week and the campsite wifi is intermittent at best so it’s only a quick post for week 23 of the Living Arrows project. Toby has been a star this holiday, after three days of driving to get here and then lots of late naps and unusual meal times he seems to be coping much better with the changes to his routine than he did when we went to the Lake District last month.

So anyway, here he is, looking like a super cool dude in his new holiday cap!

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