The mummy tag

Mummy and son

Lucinda at Teacher2Mummy was kind enough to tag me in this mummy meme and I know it’s always nice to find out a bit more about the person behind the blog so without further ado…

1. Are you a Stay at Home Mum, or a Working Mum?
I’m currently on maternity leave from my job as a secondary school teacher. All being well I will be going back to work in August.
2. Would you have it any other way?
Before Toby was born I always thought that I would love to stay at home with him and not have to go back to work. Although I love spending time with him now, I’m actually looking forward to going back to work! I think having time away from teaching has actually made me realise how much I enjoy it. Ideally I’d like to go back part time but I think I might end up going back full time for a year for a variety of reasons.
3. Do you co-sleep?
No. When Toby was really little we sometimes had the odd nap together but I wouldn’t have felt comfortable having him in bed with both me and the hubby. And now on the odd occasion he wakes up early and I bring him in to our bed in the hope of getting a bit more sleep he just wants to wriggle and punch in the face!
4. What is your one must-have item for your baby?
Muslins! We use loads of them. For general wiping/mopping up but also as bibs and mostly for Toby to chew on.
5. How many kids do you plan on having?
Two. I have a brother who is exactly two years older than me and we got on great when we were kids (and still do). I’ve always said I would like a boy and girl and to have them two years apart…but that does mean getting pregnant again scarily soon!
6. Date nights? How many do you have per month?
Ha! We have only been out together without Toby twice since he was born. It’s quite hard not having any family close by – it means there’s a distinct shortage of willing babysitters. My mum is coming up in a couple of weeks though so we’re going to leave her in charge while we go to the cinema and try not to fall asleep.
7. Your child’s favourite show?
He doesn’t have one. He loves watching the TV but he just watches whatever we’re watching. I haven’t started showing him children’s TV yet.
8. Name one thing you bought before you had the baby and never ended up using?
I can’t really think of anything. We had lots of clothes that he only wore a few times before growing out of.
9. Your child’s favourite food?
He’s only just started eating solids but so far toast seems to go down well, as does fromage frais – we’ve not tried them together yet though!
10. How many cars does your family have?
Just the one.
11. Weight gain, before pregnancy, during, after and now?
I put on about three stone during pregnancy. I’ve lost about a stone of that, so two more to go. Which reminds me, I really must write another weight loss update post soon.
12. Dream holiday with your kids?
We’re hoping to go camping in France this summer. That was what we did for all my family holidays growing up and I absolutely loved it. And I think when we have older kids we’d like to take them skiing. (I quite fancy going to Disneyland and Universal Studios in Florida but I think the hubby might take a bit of convincing!)
13. Dream holiday without your kids?
There are so many places I’d love to go. I’ve been on two American road trips – one on my own to San Francisco, LA, Arizona, the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas, the other was our honeymoon to Boston, Philadelphia, Washington DC and all down the east coast. I absolutely love America and really want to do another road trip round the Deep South; New Orleans, Nashville, Memphis… But then I’d also really love to go to Australia and New Zealand.
14. How has your life changed since having kids?
I don’t think you can really imagine how much life will change, no matter how much you read or how much you think about it, until you actually have kids. I miss some of the freedom of our life before Toby, everything takes much more planning now! Having total responsibility for a tiny human being is a bit overwhelming at times but I think I’m finally starting to get used to it.
15. Finish the sentence “It makes heart melt when…”
Toby looks at me and gives me a massive gummy grin.
16. Where do you shop for your kids?
Mostly supermarkets! Usually Tesco or Asda. I did get quite a lot of things in John Lewis in the January sales too. There are so many lovely baby clothes out there but I just can’t justify spending a lot of money on things that only last a few months. Toby’s clothes are all getting a lot of use though. My friend has twins three months younger than Toby so all his clothes go to them.
17. Favourite make-up and skincare products?
I hardly ever wear make up. My skin is really dry so I tend to just use E45 on my body. I do like Clinque Moisture Surge for my face but it’s quite expensive so I always get my mum to buy it for Christmas and birthdays.
18. Huggies or Pampers?
Neither! We are cloth bummed all the way. We did use Pampers for the first six weeks or so after Toby was born though. And we use Huggies Little Swimmers in the pool.
19. Have you always wanted kids?
When I was younger I just always sort of assumed I would have kids. But then when I got to 32 and I’d been single for eight years I started to think maybe it wouldn’t happen. But then I met the hubby and the rest is history!
20. Best part of being a mum?
Watching this tiny human, who I grew in my tummy, develop and learn new things every day. I love seeing the concentration on his face when he’s trying to figure something out.
So that’s me, now it’s your turn… It’s seems loads of people have done this tag already so I’m not going to tag anyone specifically – if you want to do it just grab the questions and away you go.

Desert Island Discs

So the lovely Aby from You Baby Me Mummy tagged me to do this ages ago. I hadn’t forgotten about it but I’ve only just managed to find the time to write it! All I needed to do was come up with my eight favourite songs – but that is harder than you might first imagine.

Although I like music, and I love a good sing-song, I wouldn’t say I’ve ever really been ‘in to music’. I don’t really have a favourite band or even a favourite style of music. So, here, as they say, in no particular order, are my eight favourite songs (or my eight favourite songs for today anyway, they do have a habit of changing sometimes!)

1. All I want is you // Barry Louis Polisar

I love this song. It’s from the Juno soundtrack (Juno is a great film – you should watch it if you haven’t already seen it). It just makes me feel happy every time I hear it. This is the song we walked danced out of the room to after we got married. It was hard to pick a song from this soundtrack – I really like them all. Another that almost made the list was ‘Tire Swing’ by Kimya Dawson as this was the song that gave me the idea for Toby’s name. It has a lyric in it: ‘I’ve never met a Toby that I didn’t like’. I was listening to it on the way home from work one day and just thought ‘yep, Toby it is!’

2. Feeling good // Nina Simone

This is such a great song. Nina Simone’s voice is amazing. And this is the song I walked down the aisle to. It was the only part of the wedding (apart from my dress of course) that I kept secret from my future husband. We let the first part of the song play until ‘….it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, and I’m feeling good…’ and then I walked in with my dad to the ‘du-dum, du-dum, du-dum’ bit of the tune. I loved it!

3. Hold up a light // Take That

I’m a massive Take That fan. I loved them the first time round (although a bit in secret because I was 15 and it wasn’t really cool) but never got to see them live. So when they got back together me and my friend Claire decided to go to the reunion tour and we’ve been to every tour since. I just love them. To be honest I could have just filled this list with Take That songs but that wouldn’t be very interesting. I chose this one because it brings back good memories of dancing and singing along when we saw the Circus tour. And because Mark has the lead vocal and he’s my favourite! This stripped-back update of Hold Up A Light,  with Mark Owen alongside pupils from Grasmere Primary in North London has be released as a fundraiser. Everyone involved in the track’s, and associated video and artwork, creation has given their time for free. All profits are being split evenly between the Salisbury Hospice Charity, and the Stoke Newington school’s FROGS appeal to build an outdoor play space.

4. Over the rainbow/ What a wonderful world  // Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

I love musicals and have appeared in lots of them myself. I was in The Wizard of Oz a few years ago and Somewhere Over the Rainbow has always been one of my favourite songs – I often sing it to Toby before I put him down to sleep. I also play the ukulele a bit (although I’m out of practice at the moment) and so I love this version of Over the Rainbow and What a wonderful world (which is also a great song). We had this at our wedding too, while we signed the register.

5. You grew on me // Tim Minchin

I was a massive Tim Minchin fan from the days he was still playing 80 seat rooms, before he hit the real big time. I used to travel all over the country to see him and made some really good friends among his fans. There were a few of us who he knew and we would always hang around after gigs to speak to him. But then he got really famous and started playing big venues and making TV shows and stuff so I’ve not seen him for a while. Anyway, he’s another one that I could just fill this list with his songs but I chose this one because when I first met my husband our relationship grew out of Twitter DMs and emails while I was on an American road trip. I had only met him once in person and before we met up again two months later I already knew I was in love with him! I remember one day, before we met up again in real life, sending him a link to this song and just saying ‘this is what I wanted to say’. And it always makes him cry! We were going to have it as the first dance at our wedding but chickened out in the end because we didn’t think people would ‘get’ it.

6. When I grow up  // from Matilda the musical

Now actually this is another Tim Minchin song – he wrote all the music and lyrics to Matilda the musical. I have seen it twice and have the soundtrack on my phone. If you ever get the chance to see it you really should. It was hard to choose one song from a musical but this one is so joyous and uplifting I had to share it.

7. Jolene // Dolly Parton

I love a bit of country music. I’d love to visit Nashville one day. And what more can I say – it’s Dolly isn’t it.

8. Ghosts // Laura Marling

Again, I could have chosen any number of Laura Marling songs. I saw her live at Latitude a few years ago and she was great live too. This is from my favourite album of hers ‘Alas I cannot swim’.

So there we go. There are so many amazing songs that I love that haven’t made it onto this list. I love almost all The Beatles songs (apart from Ob-la-di, ob-la-da), Simon and Garfunkel are another favourite. I love all the songs from films like Grease and Dirty Dancing, and loads of musicals; Singin’ in the Rain and Chicago are probably top of that list. And lastly a few less well known acts that didn’t make it; a great band called 6 Day Riot and a singer/songwriter called Gavin Osborn who is just brilliant. If you have a chance you should check them out. (Oh, and Jack Johnson, and Johnny Cash, and Kate Rusby, and Norah Jones, and and and…there’s just too many!)

Thanks Aby for tagging me – sorry it’s taken so long! If you’ve read this and you fancy writing your own Desert Island Discs then please do. I am also going to tag Donna at Redhead Babyled, Chauntelle at Seychelles Mama and Jo at Not a Frumpy Mum.

Living Arrows 6/52

It’s week six in the I Heart Snapping Living Arrows project. I’m really enjoying using the big camera more and hopefully my photos are getting a bit better.

This week we had one day of sunshine and it happened to coincide with a day that Toby had woken up early from his morning nap, so we decided to go out for a walk – nowhere exciting, just round the houses where we live. Toby was giving it big yawns so I put the SnoozeShade on the buggy but when I peaked in to see if he had fallen asleep he was still wide eyed. So I took this picture through the zip hole!

Living Arrows 6_52

Longer school hours?

mumturnedmom

I’m linking up with the lovely Sara at mumturnedmom again this week for her linky ‘The Prompt’. This week’s prompt is a headline:

Lengthen school days and cut holidays, says former Tory adviser’ The Guardian (online) 29 Jan 2014

This story about longer school hours has been big news this week and lots of people have already blogged about it. I wasn’t sure whether or not I was going to add my voice into the mix but this week’s prompt has somewhat forced my hand!

Lots of people have been getting their knickers in a twist about this news story and perhaps rightly so. As a teacher and a mum I think the idea of lengthening school days and shortening holidays is absolutely ludicrous. I could go on to make the same arguments as many others; kids need time to be kids, to be at home, to play; they need time out of school for extra curricular activities like dance classes, sports clubs, Cubs, Scouts, Brownies and Guides; parents need to spend time with their kids, not pick them up from school, feed them and put them to bed. As a teacher I would ask anyone to come into a school at 3:30 pm and look at the kids; if anyone thinks those tired, worn out, fidgety kids, who have already been learning for six hours could manage until 6 pm then I would like to see them attempt to teach one of those classes. I teach at secondary school – even my 15 or 16 year olds would struggle to stay focused until 6 pm. How could anyone expect primary school age children to do it? And what about homework? Sometimes kids need time outside the classroom to consolidate what they have been learning, in their own time. If we were expecting them to be in school for 45 hours a week when would they have time for homework? And that’s not to mention finding teachers willing to teach for 45 hours a week, 45 weeks a year. According to the former Tory adviser, Paul Kirby, “This increase by two-thirds in the time that kids spend at school is designed to allow all parents to work full-time without the need for additional childcare.”  Does this mean an increase in teachers’ salaries by two-thirds as well? And if we’re teaching until 6 pm then when do we plan lessons, mark books, set assessments and all the other things that most teachers spend at least a few hours doing every day after the kids have gone home?

Anyway, those are all the arguments against a longer school day that I could make. But actually I’m not that worried about these proposals. Because that’s all they are, proposals on the personal blog of a man who doesn’t even work for the government anymore. And although it would appear Michael Gove seems intent on ruining the English education system with one unworkable, nonsensical policy after another, I don’t think even he could bring these proposals into practice. Teachers are already leaving the profession in their droves, if they were expected to teach for 45 hours a week, for 45 weeks in a year I don’t think there would be any teachers left!

Reasons to teach

What is he thinking?

mumturnedmom

I’m linking up with the lovely Sara at mumturnedmom again this week for her new linky ‘The Prompt’.

I’m taking a slightly different angle on this weeks prompt, I hope you enjoy it.

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. Ambrose Bierce

I open my eyes. It’s dark in here, apart from that blue light coming from behind the chair. I think I’ll just lie here for a bit. I might try out some of those noises I’ve been working on.

Still here. That woman who is always around usually comes and gets me after a while. I’ve rolled on to my tummy but now my hand seems to be stuck down the side of the mattress. Maybe I need to make my noises a bit louder. Ah, I heard someone moving. She’ll be here in a minute.

The light is on now. It’s very bright after I’ve been lying here in the dark. The woman has got my arm out and turned me on my back. I don’t want to be on my back. Oh, now she’s taking my out of the cosy thing and…jeez, it’s cold in here. And I bet she’s going to put me on that cold plastic mat thing in a second. Yep. I knew it. It’s OK though. I’ll just roll onto my front again. I can see what’s going on then.

Why does she keep turning me back over. Doesn’t she know I want to be on my front? Ooh, what’s going on now. I’ve suddenly got a cold bum. She’s taken that massive nappy off that I’ve been wearing all night. That’s better. I can kick my legs more now. I can probably get that foot in my mouth if I try hard enough. Or maybe I’ll roll over again. Oh, and look. If I push with my arms it makes me move backwards. That’s new. I want to try that again.

Damn it woman! Stop turning me over. No, I don’t want another nappy on. It’s harder to get my feet in my mouth when I’ve got a nappy on. Alright then. I’ll lie here just for a minute. It’s done now, are you happy? What? You want to put those trousers back on again? You only just took them off! No my feet aren’t cold. Why are you putting those socks on me? Never mind though, I know how to get those off. What do you think I am, a baby or something?!

I’m hungry now. Where’s my milk? No, don’t put me down. I don’t want to play with that stupid squeaky animal thing. Although, ooh, it’s quite nice when I put it in my mouth. But then I can’t fit my thumb in there. And what’s that outside? Why is that tree moving? And, hang on…I’m still hungry. I suppose I’m going to have to cry if I’m ever going to get what I want round here.

Yes. That’s what I wanted. Milk. It’s not warm enough though. You know I don’t like it when it isn’t warm enough. No, don’t just put it back in my mouth. I pushed it out for a reason. Ah, I think she’s worked it out. It’s warmer now. I’ll just lie here and suck for a bit. And I’ll try and grab this dangly thing coming off the woman’s jumper. Why won’t she let me pull it? What was I doing again? Oh yeah, milk, that was it. I’m bored of sucking now though – I think I’ll push it away again. Maybe just look at it for a minute. What happens if I pull on this rubbery bit? Oh milk in my eye! Actually I think I’m still hungry. Give me that bottle back! No, don’t sit me up. I don’t need to burp. Why are you rubbing my back? Can’t you see I’m still hungry? Oh, for god’s sake. Why do you never listen??

 

Wouldn’t life be easier if we knew what they were thinking?

 

Me & Mine: A Family Portrait (January 2014)

I know,I know… Another photo linky! Me & Mine is about capturing our whole family in a photo every month. I have hundreds of photos of Toby, quite a few of him with his dad, even less of me and him and hardly any of the three of us. So by participating in this linky, I’ll be sure that we’ll have at least 12 pictures of the three of us by the end of the year. I only just found out about this linky so I’m a bit late with the January post but hopefully you’ll forgive me this time! This also means this month’s photo is taken in our living room – in months to come I want to try and capture our family when we’re out and about.

Family Portrait January

January has been a fairly quiet month in our house while we recovered from travelling to see both our families after Christmas, and we also recovered from a £1600 bill to replace the hip tiles on our roof after some storm damage – just what we needed a week before Christmas! So this month has been a month of frugality and waiting for pay day. I’m very much looking forward to a nice short February, the nights starting to get lighter again, and hopefully having some adventures.

A letter to Matilda Mae

Matilda Mae

Dear Matilda Mae,

I didn’t know you.

I never met you and I have never met or spoken to your mummy or daddy, or your brother or sister.

Until I started writing a blog a few months ago I had never even heard of you.

When I started writing about my little boy Toby I started talking to lots of other bloggers on Twitter and I saw your name come up over and over again.

It was around the time of the Welly Walk that your mummy and daddy had organised.

So I went to your mummy’s blog to find out what it was all about.

And that was when I found out about you and what had happened.

I read your mummy’s letter to you and I could not imagine the pain she must have felt.

The pain that your whole family must still feel.

I can honestly say I have thought about you every day since then.

Your name is always in my mind.

Little Matilda Mae who has gone to the stars.

But gone too soon.

You have touched the lives of so many people.

Your mummy has done so much to raise awareness and raise money for The Lullaby Trust.

So that perhaps another baby might live.

Even though you could not.

Every night I give my little Toby Bear an extra kiss.

So that he might stay safe.

And I think of you.

Matilda Mae.

You will never be forgotten.

Love xx

P.S. Purple is my favourite colour too.

 

Living Arrows 4/52

This is now week four in the I Heart Snapping Living Arrows project – I can’t believe how fast time is going at the moment!

This week I decided to post two pictures. In both pictures I have chosen Toby isn’t looking at the camera and I love the serious expressions he has. I’ve also done a bit of editing on both photos to make them almost black and white. My husband has Photoshop but seeing as I have to borrow his laptop to use it I’ve been doing a bit of experimenting with picmonkey.com. It seems pretty good for what I need it for, for the moment anyway.

Here’s the shots. I’m really pleased with them but please let me know what you think.

Serious baby

Baby in a bear suit

living arrows

The state of education

mumturnedmom

I’m linking up with the lovely Sara at mumturnedmom again this week for her new linky ‘The Prompt’. I really enjoyed reading all the other posts that linked up last week. It’s interesting to see everyone’s different takes on the same prompt.

And so, to this weeks prompt…

I was saddened by………….

I was saddened by a tweet I read this week in which someone said the TV documentary Educating Yorkshire, which this week won a National Television Award for Best Documentary Series,  made them “despair for our education in this country”. As a secondary school teacher myself it made me think about the impression those with no experience of secondary education, other than their own, have of our schools today.

I live in Fife, in the east of Scotland and in my four years of teaching I have taught in four different schools. Three of those schools have a high proportion of pupils from low income families. The school I taught in most recently over 40% of pupils are eligible for free school meals. The pupils I deal with every day (when I’m not on maternity leave that is) are not dissimilar to those kids you see on programmes like Educating Yorkshire, or Educating Essex which came before it.

A lot of the kids I teach are often labelled as ‘challenging’. It’s been in the news recently that two-fifths of newly qualified teachers leave the profession within five years. To me this is a shocking, but not surprising statistic. According to the Ofsted Chief Inspector, Sir Michael Wilshaw – “Many new recruits are quitting the classroom because they are inadequately prepared for dealing with unruly pupils”. And I can believe it; behaviour of some pupils in some schools is appalling. If you’ve seen Educating Yorkshire you might have an idea of the kind of things pupils get up to – if you haven’t let me give you a few examples of the kind of behaviour that I have had to deal with in my four short years as a teacher:

  • I have been sworn at more times than I care to remember
  • I have kids flatly refusing to follow any instructions they are given
  • I rarely get through a lesson without having to send someone out of the room for causing a disruption
  • I have, on two separate occasions, had pupils overturn their desks in anger
  • I have waited more than 15 minutes for a class to stop talking so I could start the lesson. (I tried every tactic I could think of to get them to be quiet – in the end, waiting it out seemed the best option)
  • I have kids pushing or hitting each other almost daily
  • I have had two 14 year old boys have a fight in my classroom, with chairs, when I was about 5 months pregnant!
  • And that’s not to mention the general chatter, answering back and disrespect that happens in every lesson.

I can understand why some new teachers can’t cope with the behaviour they have to deal with. I’ve been lucky that in every school I have worked in there has been a decent behaviour policy in place which is backed up by support from senior members of staff. And there are always some kids who are well behaved, who do want to work and to learn. I’m sure there are schools where the general standard of behaviour is better, but to some degree or another wherever you find kids, you will find badly behaved kids. There have been many times over the last four years where I’ve thought I couldn’t cope, that I had made the wrong decision by going into teaching and if you look at the way teaching is portrayed in the media then you would wonder why anyone would do it.

But this is what makes me sad; we shouldn’t despair over the state of education in this country, although I’ll be the first to admit I’m glad I teach in Scotland, out of the reach of Michael Gove and all the terrible decisions he keeps making about education in England. Because, these kids don’t need despairing over, they need help to overcome whatever it is that makes them behave the way they do. They need some hope, that if they work hard at school then they can achieve, that they can make something of themselves. My main role, as a teacher, is not to teach these kids French or Spanish. It’s to teach them how to respect one another, how to work with other people, how to communicate, how to trust that there are adults who will do their best for them, how to ask for help, how to become responsible members of society.

There are no excuses for bad behaviour, but there are often reasons behind it. Some of the kids I teach just don’t know any better. Maybe, the kid who is falling asleep at his desk, or staring out of the window in a daze didn’t go to bed until 1am last night because he had to stay up and look after his little sister while his mum was working the night shift at the 24 hour supermarket because that’s the only job she can get. Maybe the kid who shouts and swears is just following the example of his dad, because that’s what he does when he wants something. Maybe the boy who is having a fight is so angry with everyone because he lives in a children’s home and when he sees his mum every third month she makes him promises she can’t keep and it takes the next month for his teachers and support workers to get him back on track. Maybe the boy who can’t sit still in his seat and keeps shouting out the answers is really trying his best to keep his ADHD under control but sometimes his impulses are stronger than he can manage.

So I try to understand why these kids are acting the way they are (and believe me, their stories make me feel sad every day), and I do what I can to show them the right way to act, the right way to behave, and therefore, hopefully, the right way to learn. I set consistent boundaries and I stick to them. I don’t let them get away with poor behaviour but nor do I just shout at them, because sometimes they spend their time at home being shouted at, adding my voice to the mix isn’t going to get them to do what I need them to do. So I talk to them, I reason with them and I get them to do what I need them to do but I make them think that it was their idea. And I know that there are thousands of teachers out there who are working their asses off to do the very best they can for all the kids that they teach. So don’t despair for the state of education in our country. There’s really no need.

State of Education