Personal

- Sarah 4 Comments

I’m going back to work (and my worries about nursery)

I’ve been on maternity leave for 13 months now – I’m a teacher and a conveniently timed pregnancy meant I started my maternity leave at the beginning of the summer holidays last year. It was always my intention to return to work after a year but I was only on a temporary contract before my maternity leave and unfortunately, although I was successfully interviewed there were no posts available for Modern Languages teachers in the council where I was working previously. In this council everyone has one interview with the council and then they allocate people to the available jobs, rather than the decisions being made by individual schools.

Staffing requirements can often change over the summer holidays which means a job may come up once the schools start back in a few weeks (and this is what has happened to me every other year I’ve been teaching) but this year, with childcare to organise, just hanging around and hoping something came up wasn’t ideal. I can go on the supply register, but again I wouldn’t be able to make myself available at short notice because of having to arrange someone to look after Toby. We don’t have any family nearby so it’s not like I can just ask my mum to pop up the 250 miles to look after Toby so I can go to work for a day!

Anyway, it was starting to look like I might not be going back to work after all. We told the nursery we wouldn’t be able to take up the place we’d reserved for Toby and after doing some sums we worked out that although we wouldn’t have a lot to spare, we could manage on just one wage. But then I saw jobs advertised in two schools in a different council. They were a bit further away than I’d like ideally but I had to take a chance and apply for them. I was selected for interview for both jobs and had the first one today….and they offered me the post!!

I’m very pleased to be going back to work – I love being at home with Toby but I’ve been surprised just how much I’ve missed my job over the last year. But it’s really scary to think that in two and a half weeks I’ll be back at work full time (Scottish schools go back mid-August). And even scarier is that my little baby boy is going to have to go to nursery full time in a couple of weeks too. Luckily the place was still available at the nursery we had chosen so he’ll be going there. He’ll be doing some settling in sessions very soon and I really hope he manages to get used to it quickly. miss him I know, when I think about it logically, that nursery will be really good for Toby. He’ll get to socialise with other children, he’ll get to do so many more activities than he would if he was at home with me all the time…but but but…..I wish he didn’t have to go. Nobody has ever looked after him apart from me and his dad (apart from a couple of times when we’ve had babysitters while he’s been asleep) and I can’t imagine him spending more time with the nursery workers than he does with us. I feel so sad that someone else might witness his first steps, or his first proper words. I’m so worried that he’ll get upset and I won’t be there to comfort him. I feel like he’s too little to understand what’s going on, and I can’t explain to him why I can’t be there.

Toby woke up from his nap just after I got the call this afternoon to say I had got the job and I went upstairs and gave him a cuddle and I cried for all the cuddles I’m going to miss. I know, really, that I’m doing the right thing, and I’m sure Toby will love nursery soon enough. (And if our plans work out the way we hope it will only be for a year and then, hopefully, I’ll be on maternity leave again…and after that, who knows.) For now though I need to start organising and working out how I’m going to fit in all the chores around a full time job. And I’ve got two and half weeks to fit in as many cuddles as I can!

- Sarah 5 Comments

First birthday (sort of) party

If you’ve been reading some of my other posts you’ve probably seen that Toby turned one last week. Originally we weren’t going to have a party at all. I know this might not be a popular view but I don’t really hold with massive birthday parties for one year olds who have no clue what is going on. I understand that for the most part these early birthday parties are as much for the adults as the babies but with Toby’s grandparents all living 250 miles away, and us not having many other people we would invite there didn’t seem much point.

However, as both sets of grandparents decided they would like to visit round about Toby’s birthday we decided we would just have them all at the same time, invite our friends Claire and Dave and their nine month old twins and we would have a BBQ and make a bit of a party of it.

First Birthday Party

I didn’t really have a theme and my only concession to decoration was a few balloons. I suppose it was a vague jungle theme as I’d made a monkey cake, the balloons had jungle animals on and Toby wore his funky banana leggings! As it turned out it wasn’t great weather for a BBQ on the day either but my dad was quite happy on cooking duties out in the garden under a gazebo! We had a bit of a BBQ buffet, including home made bread rolls that Barry made in the morning. I was quite pleased we decided to have a party in the end too because it meant I had an excuse to make a proper birthday cake! (If you want to know how I made the monkey cake there’ll be a ‘how to’ post coming soon.) Toby blew out his candle (with a bit of help) but I was a meany though and didn’t give him any cake. I did let him eat the monkey’s eyes though, which were his very first chocolate buttons!

First birthday cake

My mum and dad were staying with us so they were already here. Claire and Dave arrived with their boys not long after midday and we gave the babies their lunch – the birthday boy got to be king of the castle in his highchair while the twins sat in their Bumbos on the floor which was quite comical! Then Barry’s parents turned up too, we had some present opening, some food and then began the fun task of trying (unsuccessfully) to get the babies to nap! We all had a lovely time though. I’m glad all Toby’s grandparents got to see him for his first birthday, especially as they don’t get to see each other very often.

The best thing about the whole day for me though was how well Toby coped with it all. He’s normally fine around other people but because we don’t often have people visiting our house he can sometimes have a meltdown when there are other people there. He still doesn’t really know his grandparents either, although I think he is starting to recognise them more as he gets older. He was fantastic all day though. We didn’t have any crying (until I tried to get him to nap!) and he was happy to give everyone cuddles. All in all a very successful (sort of) party I’d say!

- Sarah 6 Comments

Round and round the garden (The Ordinary Moments #25)

You know the rhyme…. Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear, one step, two step, and tickle him under there!

Round and round

Well, at some point this has become one of our lovely Ordinary Moments. Toby now knows the rhyme so well he starts giggling before I’ve even touched him!

the garden

He keeps giggling as he tries to push my hands away. And by the end we are both laughing.

tickle him under there

I just love what a happy, smiley, giggly baby I have. The sound of your baby laughing is something to treasure for ever. That pure, unadulterated joy. I hope he keeps hold of that for a long time to come and that to hear him laughing is forever one of our Ordinary Moments.

mummy daddy me
- Sarah 3 Comments

Milky cuddles (The Ordinary Moments #24)

I’ve read so many blog posts about the bond mums have with their babies when they’re breastfeeding. How special those milky cuddles are. And I’m not denying that they are special. But for whatever reason they aren’t something that all mums get to share with their baby. But even though we stopped breastfeeding at six weeks (and even then every breastfeed was topped up with formula) I wanted to write about our milky cuddles. It doesn’t matter that Toby is drinking formula and it is coming out of a bottle – we still get to share some special bonding moments together.

milky cuddles

Although Toby is nearly one now(!) he still has three bottles a day; one when he gets up, one before his afternoon nap and one before bed. And no matter how crazy he has been just minutes before, wriggling and crawling and standing and bouncing, as soon as he sees that bottle coming his thumb goes in his mouth and as soon as I pick him up he snuggles in. And then we have a quite few minutes where he actually lies still. Usually he’ll play with my ear, or try and put his fingers in my mouth, or play with the cord on my hoody, basically whatever is within reach.

I love these quiet times we have together (during the week I do the morning and afternoon bottles and daddy gets the bedtime one) and I’ll miss them when they’re gone. You read so many stories about the end of breastfeeding being an emotional time (and I’m not for one minute denying that it is) but I think the end of bottle feeding will be sad for me too. I suppose it just means my little boy isn’t a baby any more. For now though I’m going to enjoy our milky cuddles while we still have them.

Linking up with Katie at Mummy Daddy Me for The Ordinary Moments

mummy daddy me
- Sarah 4 Comments

My Britmums Live experience

So it probably hasn’t escaped your notice that this weekend 700 bloggers descended on The Brewery in London for the year’s biggest blogging conference, and I was lucky enough to be one of them! Lots of people have already written about their experiences at Britmums Live and Britmums have gathered them all together in one handy linky.

I’ve been home a few days now and I’ve been struggling to shape my thoughts about the weekend into a coherent blog post. In fact, although I thought I would come home raring to go with my blog I haven’t put fingertip to keyboard since I came back on Sunday. Don’t get me wrong here though, I had a fantastic weekend meeting lots of lovely people and getting lots of ideas and inspiration on how to make Toby Goes Bananas more of the blog I want it to be. I think the problem might be that I have so many ideas that I don’t know where to start! But also (and from reading some of the other posts I know I’m not the only one feeling this way) going to Britmums Live has actually made me realise that perhaps taking a little step back from my blog, realising that the stats don’t really matter, trying to find a better blog/ life balance and appreciating that my blog doesn’t have to be all consuming wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I’ve sat in front of the laptop a few nights this week but the words just weren’t coming and rather than trying to force it I decided just to wait until I was feeling more inspired.

And so, here it is, my Britmums Live Experience…

My Britmums Live experience

The weekend itself was amazing, if very tiring! I had to get up at 5am on the Friday morning to catch my flight from Edinburgh to London City airport. A quick ride on the DLR and I was on the tube heading to Euston. This was because Ed’s Easy Diner had sent me an email for a free birthday milkshake! They send me one every year and I never normally get to use it but seeing as I was in London with a bit of time to kill I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. So after scrambled eggs on toast (my third breakfast of the day, if you count a banana at home and rubbish cooked breakfast on the plane) and a vanilla malt to take away I was back on the tube to Old Street and making my way to my hotel.

I was so pleased there was a room ready so I got an early check in and a 45 minute power snooze before meeting up with the first bloggers of my weekend; Donna from What the Redhead Said (who I had met before at the Munchkin Lindam event) and Kate from Family Fever (whose linky, Tried & Tested, I join in with most weeks). I also met Emma from The Mini Mes and Me and Jade from Late for Reality. We made our way from the hotel to The Brewery where the main event was to be held. As promised by Britmums we were greeted by bowler-hatted doormen, we then waited in the covered outdoor courtyard area for the doors to open. Here I got chance to say hello to a few more people including Mummy Muncher from Life With Munchers and Vicki from Ellie Bear Babi, both of whom I had spoken to online before, as well as Rebecca from Mrs Mumsie and Karen from Let Kids Be Kids.

And then the doors opened and the madness began. There was a huge scrabble to collect badges and then everyone piled into The Hub where all the brands had their stands. Despite me professing my lack of nerves before I went I have to admit this part was a little bit overwhelming! There were people everywhere. There were squeals from every direction as bloggers recognised one another and people seemed to be running round grabbing every freebie they could get their hands on! And, jeez, it was LOUD! 700 excited bloggers in one place make a lot of noise. If I have a tip for those attending Britmums Live for the first time it would be to just take your time at the beginning, have a look around and take it all in, but you don’t need to talk to all the brands and sign up on all their lists in the first 5 minutes. They’ll be there all weekend and you’ll have plenty of time to talk to them when things have quietened down a bit. On that note, I would also recommend trying to find a bit of time on your own to talk to any brands you’re really interested in working with – I found it much easier to chat in a bit more depth to brands on my own than when I was with other people.

I hadn’t really made a plan of which sessions I wanted to go to before I went and that wasn’t really a problem. I will say though, if there is a session you don’t want to miss then try to get there a bit early (easier said than done when you are dashing between sessions) as some of the rooms are quite small and fill up quickly for popular sessions. I’m not going to go into loads of detail about the sessions but there are a few that deserve a mention; The Dos and Don’ts of Blog Giveaways by Di Coke (SuperLucky.co.uk) was very useful, as was the session on Google+ by James Dearsley from The Digital Marketing Bureau – I actually have a vague understanding of how Google+ works now which is a massive improvement! One thing about the sessions is that it’s hard to know from the brief description in the programme what level they will be pitched at – for example I found the blog design tips, SEO and tech knowledge sessions interesting but they didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t already know, in hindsight my time could perhaps have been spent better elsewhere.

I have to say I found the BiBs party on Friday night a bit underwhelming somehow. By that point everyone was tired and hungry (food, or lack of seems to be one area that a lot of people think could be improved for next year) and the whole thing seemed to be over in a bit of a rush. There was also a bit of controversy as Katy Hill, who was presenting the awards, also won in the Fresh Voice category. I admit I have never read her blog but it does seem a bit off somehow. And anyway, that award should definitely have gone to Katie at Hurrah for Gin, who I also met and she was absolutely lovely!

Saturday was definitely a day for tissues with a very moving and inspiring keynote speech from Benjamin Brooks-Dutton (Life As A Widower) in the morning and the blogger keynotes at the end of the day. I not one for crying usually but even I found myself welling up listening to these brave bloggers standing up in a room full of their peers and speaking out loud some of their most personal blog posts. It was a good job that the event rounded off with a performance from the Good Enough Mums Club giving everyone a good laugh and able to leave with a smile on their face.

After the event I headed, laden with goodies, to my brother’s house in Essex for a relaxing evening of pizza and cider then a good night’s sleep. I spent the day there on Sunday and finally made it home at about midnight. Toby, who had been sleeping through all weekend, woke up as I came in the door, which was a great excuse for a lovely cuddle before bed!

I have to also mention some of the other people I met; it was lovely to see some of my fellow Munchkin Lindam bloggers again – Munchies and Munchkins and Debs from Super Busy Mum. It was also great to meet Emma from Me, The Man & The Baby (baby included!), Lucinda from Teacher 2 Mummy, Donna from The London Mum, Sara from mumturnedmom (over all the way from America!), Aby from You Baby Me Mummy and to get to say a quick hello to Katie from Mummy Daddy Me, Emma from Brummymummyof2, Just a Normal Mummy, and Wry Mummy. I’m sure I’ve missed some (I didn’t write anyone’s names down, or take any photos!) so please accept my apologies if I’ve missed you off. Also, sorry if I confused any of you with my surprisingly very red hair!

Last but not least a quick mention to a few of the brands I spoke to over the weekend; firstly it was fab to see the Munchkin guys again and the lovely ladies from Norton & Co. Thanks to Parragon Books for the very tasty cupcake, to Coca-Cola for my personalised Coke bottle, to Butlins for the chocolate (I may have taken more than one bar!) and to Heinz Baby for the goodies for Toby and for the lovely, and much needed massage.

So there you have it – that was my Britmums Live experience. It was pretty much everything I expected (although I didn’t end up getting drunk like I thought I might!). I think it’ll take a few weeks before I really digest it all and start putting some of my ideas into practice though. I would definitely recommend going if you get the chance and hopefully I’ll be able to go again sometime in the future, although with my return to work fast approaching I’m holding off buying my ticket for 2015 just yet!

P.S. I was really rubbish at taking photos during the weekend hence the lack of pictures in this post – sorry!

- Sarah 2 Comments

Self-confidence // You either have it or you don’t?

I’m writing this as I make my way to Britmums Live – a blogging conference with over 500 bloggers of whom I have met precisely one before. In the run up to the event I’ve read lots of blog posts and tweets from people saying how nervous they are; people worried about their journeys, negotiating public transport, meeting people they’ve only ever spoken to online before (or never spoken to at all). And it got me thinking… I’m not nervous at all. I’ve done all sorts of things on my own before (and I’ll tell you about a few of them in a minute) so a couple of days in London on my own doesn’t really phase me. But I am just lucky that I was born with self-confidence? Is it just an inherent part of my personality or did perhaps my upbringing have anything to do with it?

To be honest I really have no idea!

The first time I went away without my parents was to Brownie pack holiday when I was about seven or eight. I wasn’t homesick in the slightest, just very proud of myself for getting a gold star for eating rice pudding when my mum had told them I wouldn’t!

Age eleven I spent a week at Butlins with my primary school. Again didn’t miss home at all, just enjoyed rocking my shiny Puma tracksuit.

When I was fourteen I went to Canada for three weeks with Guides. I remember the other girls all in floods of tears as they said goodbye to their parents. Not me though – a quick hug and a wave and off I strolled through the departure gate without so much as a backwards glance! Two of the three weeks were spent staying with Canadian families, on my own with people I’d never met before, and then a week at an international camp. It was an amazing experience and I think I remembered to ring home at least twice while I was there…

There were plenty more Guide camps during my teenage years and I don’t once ever remember being homesick.

When I was eighteen I left home to go to university and moved into halls with seven girls I didn’t know. Admittedly I was only an hour away from home but I only really went back in the holidays or if I was ill (mainly because I couldn’t be bothered registering with a new doctor in Manchester).

In between my second and third years at uni I spent my first of six summers working on a campsite in France. This one was quite a big adventure, even for me! That first season I spent ten weeks living and working with people I’d never met before but I made lots of new friends (some of whom I still see now) and I absolutely loved it. Which is why I kept going back for more. Every year from 1998 until 2003 I set off for a new season, in a new area, with more new people. I never felt nervous about going away. I’ll admit there were times I missed home a bit but only really when I was feeling a bit ill, or the partying and lack of sleep was catching up with me. There was only one time though that I genuinely wanted to go home – in the winter of 1999-2000 I worked in the French Alps as a ski rep. On Christmas Eve I slipped in the pub toilet (although later I always told customers it was a skiing accident!) and did something to my ankle. And so I spent my first Christmas away from home having my ankle x-rayed in a French doctor’s surgery and being told I had badly pulled the ligaments and would need to spend the next month in an ankle brace! Yeah, that was one time I did feel like going home.

In 2003 I decided (on a bit of a whim) to go to New York, just because I’d always wanted to go there. I spent a week on my own in the city and it was brilliant. I’d love to go back there with my family one day. I actually ended up meeting up with my step-great-uncle while I was there but I didn’t even know he existed until after I’d booked the trip.

2003 was also the year I moved to Scotland and I did lots of travelling, in the UK and Europe, for my job. I loved travelling on my own and started to feel really at home in airports and on trains.

My next big adventure though wasn’t until 2010. I’d just finished my teacher training and was free for the summer until I had to start my first teaching job. So I went to America again. On my own. This time it was a three week road trip starting with three nights in San Francisco and then driving down the Atlantic Highway to LA (where I met up with a friend and fellow Tim Minchin fan who I had met once before). From there I drove across Arizona to the Grand Canyon (see one of the many selfies I took on the trip below!) and finally spent three days in Las Vegas, where I met up with another American pal. Inspired by family holidays where we would book the ferry to France with the caravan and then just stay wherever we fancied, moving when we felt like it, I only booked my flights to the US, car hire, and the hotels at either end of the trip. I had a vague plan but for the two weeks in between I just drove and stopped at motels I found along the way. It was an amazing holiday and lots of people told me I was brave for going on my own but it didn’t feel brave to me. This was when I was still single (in fact I met my husband a couple of days before I left for America but that’s another story) and if I didn’t go on this trip on my own I wasn’t going to get to go at all. And I really wanted to go, so I did.

We repeated a similar trip for our honeymoon two years later but on the east coast of America that time.

Anyway, my point is that I did all this stuff and I was never scared or nervous about any of it. I think that’s just the way I am though, I don’t think it’s something I’ve learned or had to work at, it’s just something I was lucky enough to be born with. And so as I head into central London to meet over 500 other bloggers all I am is excited! In fact the only thing I was nervous about this weekend was leaving Barry in charge of Toby (or maybe it’s the other way around!) but I know they’ll be fine so I’m just going to stop worrying about them and make the most of my three baby-free days!

Grand Canyon selfie

- Sarah 2 Comments

I’m going to Britmums Live!

If you’re a parent blogger, or a regular reader of parent blogs then you might be aware of a little blogging conference called Britmums Live which is happening in London this weekend. Over 500 bloggers will meet to learn more about blogging, chat to their fellow bloggers and most importantly it seems, drink gin! Despite a fruitless search for a sponsor my lovely husband has agreed to let me spend some of his hard-earned wages to join in the fun. I’m really looking forward to meeting some of the people I’ve been chatting to online, and whose blogs I have been reading…and if you read Toby Goes Bananas then please do come and say hi!

Anyway, seeing as Britmums Live is less than a week away I thought I would join in the Britmums linky and introduce myself.

Name: Sarah

Blog: Toby Goes Bananas

Twitter ID: @tobygoesbananas

Height: 5′ 5″

Hair: Very short crop, dyed red (although just how red depends on whether I get chance to dye it again before the weekend!)

Eyes: Two. (Don’t ask me what colour; they’re bluey-greeny-greyey and seemingly change colour every day!). They may be hidden behind glasses depending on how much my hayfever is bothering me and so whether or not I can wear my contact lenses.

Is this your first blogging conference? Yes!

Are you attending both days? Certainly am. I’m travelling down from Scotland so I’m not going to miss a minute!

What are you most looking forward to at BritMums Live 2014? Meeting other bloggers – especially those whose blogs I have read and who I have chatted to online before.

What are you wearing? To be honest I’m a bit concerned about how much importance everyone seems to be placing on what they are going to wear – it seems some people are spending a fortune on new outfits and have been talking about it for months. I would love to get new clothes but on maternity pay I’ll be digging something out from the wardrobe! Probably a dress/tunic and leggings on Friday and jeans with some sort of smartish top on Saturday. Definitely flat shoes, I hardly ever wear heels so I’m not about to start now!

What do you hope to gain from BritMums Live 2014? Lots of ideas of how I can improve and grow my blog; there are so many great sessions I’m struggling to choose which ones to go to.

Do you have any tips to pass on to others who may not have been before? Having not been before myself, no. But if anyone reading this has been then feel free to pass your tips my way!

And finally…there are loads of pictures of me on here but just for good measure, here’s me (although I don’t always look like I’ve just had my photo taken by my wonderfully talented sister-in-law photographer!):

me

 

- Sarah 4 Comments

The Mother-in-Law

The Mother-in-Law

I’ve got another guest post today – this time from the lovely Lucinda over at Teacher 2 Mummy. Sometimes there are just things you don’t want to say on your own blog…

This post is about ‘mother in law woes’, sometimes you just need to get something off your chest! I have wanted to write this post for a long time but it’s not appropriate for my blog (for obvious reasons). Firstly though, thank you to Sarah for having me as a guest poster on Toby Goes Bananas!

Before I get into any moaning I think it’s best to start with the good stuff…
My OH’s mum is fab with Eliot, she adores him and he loves being in her company. She looks after him two full days a week while we are at work and also does a bit of tidying when he’s napping. She also helps out by taking him out for a walk if things need to be done at home. For these reasons and more I’m very grateful for her but there are several things that just drive me potty!

I wonder is it me just being…well me? Or do many of you feel a similar way with your MIL? I find that there a certain things she may do with Eliot that bother me immensely, however if it’s my mum she would never do them or they bother me less (or not at all). Speaking to one of my best friends she said she feels the same!

I’ll share a few of the things that I’m taking about (some I’m sure will infuriate you too).

1. The day after Eliot was born I was in hospital with him when he began choking on some fluid that he’d brought up. After pressing the emergency button, a midwife simply turned him over (facing the floor) and patted his back. She explained it was fluid that hadn’t been expelled during birth and it could happen again. Now I knew what to do I wasn’t worried.
It did happen again, when my OH and his mum were there. So I did just as the midwife had shown/explained. Except my MIL thought she knew better and literally snatched him off me. It happened to be during a nappy change and just at this point the meconium made it’s appearance. All over my MIL, the floor, the bed. Eliot began to scream as he was also covered in his own…mess. I was fuming!

2. A health visitor was on the ward and she popped over to help us clean the mess. My MIL then turned her and said ‘Can you show him how to hold a baby properly’ referring to my OH. I snapped at this point and said ‘he doesn’t need showing how to hold a baby’. Seriously?!

I really wish I’d said something after number 1. as it still bothers me now.

3. When the midwife who delivered Eliot was on a routine visit with a student midwife, my MIL also happened to be visiting. She asked them something about Milton sterilising fluid but basically not asking outright if it’s something we should be doing as we were obviously doing the wrong thing when sterilising his bottles (we use a microwave steriliser). Grrrrr!

4. Eliot has had a dummy from about 2 weeks. Now I know there are mixed views about dummies but a my MIL has quite a different one. She said in the early days that he looked ‘cute’ with his dummy. For her it seemed like just a reason to give him one. Obviously I don’t want him using one if he doesn’t ‘need’ it. So it thoroughly annoyed me when she would ask ‘where’s his dummy’ and give him it when he didn’t need one.

5. When we went to an antenatal class we were told by midwives to apply a thin layer of cream after nappy changing to still allow the skin to breathe. My MIL thinks she knows better and slathers cream on, even though I’ve repeatedly asked/told her not to. Once I was tidying Eliot’s room when she was changing his nappy and she deliberately stood in front of him so she could stop me seeing how much cream she put on. Arrrggh!

I’m not sure if she knows I can read her like a book!

6. The most recent thing has been taking him to a chemist to ask about his cheeks because they have been very red (due to teething & catching the sun). To me this totally undermines what we are doing as parents.

There are many more but these are ones that stand out for me.

What it boils down to is that she doesn’t listen to our wishes, she will pick him up when we wouldn’t, she will shove a dummy in just for the sake of it and she thinks she knows better. I know a lot of people say (some) grandparents are like that but I know that’s not true. One of my colleagues is a nan and said she follows her granddaughters routine to a tee. She said she wouldn’t go against her son and daughter in law’s wishes.

So what do you think? Would the above bother you as much as it bothers me?

Thanks again Lucinda for sharing your MIL troubles! My mum and my mother-in-law both live over 200 miles away so we don’t get to see them that often…and so they never really get chance to do anything that might annoy us! What do you think though? Do you just have to put up with the annoying stuff, especially if your mother-in-law (or any other relative) is looking after your child for you?

- Sarah 4 Comments

Full time parents

Full time parents

Image credit

I am so excited to feature my first ever guest post today – and even more excited because it’s written by my first blog-crush; Donna from Redhead Babyled! You can also find Donna on Twitter @genuineplacebo

So without further ado I will hand you over to Donna…

For some reason everywhere I look – On TV, in newspapers, online – There is a fascination at the moment of calling stay at home parents ‘Full Time Parents’. This has grated on me from the first time I heard it and continues to grate on me every time, so much so that it has inspired me to rant about it.

Anyone that has a child is a full time parent. You don’t stop being a parent when you go to work, when you go through a separation or divorce or when you go out for the evening and get a babysitter. Being a parent is not something you can switch on and off and is definitely not something that you can do ‘part time’ – Even parents that only see their children at weekends are still full time parents they just don’t get to see their children more often.

Being a stay at home parent is sometimes a thing of choice and sometimes a thing of necessity. It’s not an easy job to do – after two lots of maternity leave I know full well how hard staying at home with children is. I also know that going out to work when you have children is hard work – Broken sleep, missing the children, long commutes, missing milestones, only being there for an hour or two a day and having to play catch up at weekends and on days off.

Whether you go to work or stay at home you’re a full time parent. Going to work does not make you any less of a parent and to suggest it does is just insulting to all the working parents out there. Most of the time being a parent and working or staying at home is not a conscious choice but something that has to happen. Most of the time the process of returning, or not, to work is stressful enough without having the added pressure of whether you are a ‘Full Time Parent’ or not.
Whether we’re with our children all the time or not we are still parents, parenting.

I have to say I totally agree with Donna. I’m pretty sure it can’t have been a parent that first came up with the term ‘full time parent’! What do you think? Are there any other parenting labels that get on your nerves?

- Sarah 3 Comments

Post-pregnancy big feet!

I was quite prepared for my feet to swell in pregnancy, especially since the last few weeks were in the middle of the hottest summer we’ve had since I don’t know when! I lived in my (smartish, leather) flip flops for the last six weeks of being pregnant because I couldn’t fit anything else on my massive feet!

In the week after Toby was born my feet swelled even more and I didn’t wear shoes at all most of the time. Then the puffiness went down…but none of my shoes fit!! My feet had grown in pregnancy and as the weeks and months have gone on they haven’t gone back to their pre-pregnancy size. They aren’t just longer they are wider too. Apparently the hormone relaxin which your body produces during pregnancy to allow your pelvis to stretch so you can give birth also affects the rest of the body and can cause the bones in your feet to spread too. In some women they shrink back after giving birth but in others, like me (and a few other people who I was talking to about this on Twitter the other night) the feet stay permanently bigger.

This makes me very, very sad. I was prepared for my pre-pregnancy clothes not to fit me but to take my shoes away just seems plain mean. I have always worn size 5 shoes since I was a teenager. It didn’t matter if I was fat or thin, it didn’t matter if I had blown my latest diet and my favourite jeans didn’t fit – I could always rely on a standard, size 5 shoe fitting perfectly!

So now I have one pair of trainers that I bought after Toby was born, my four pairs of Converse which still fit (as long as I don’t have to walk very far) and a couple of pairs of flip flops. And the bottom of my wardrobe is full of shoes that are too small. I even bought a shoe stretcher in the hope of giving my old shoes a new lease of life but, although I have managed to stretch some shoes a bit they still aren’t as comfortable as they were before. Amongst those shoes that don’t fit are about five pairs of dance shoes that I have worn in various shows, and will need again at some point so I’m either going to have to squeeze my feet into them and suffer or fork out for new ones, which won’t do my bank balance much good!

The shoes I am most upset about though are my wedding shoes. I hardly ever wear high heels and I wanted something that was a bit different, comfortable, and shoes that I would wear again. In the end I went to Shoes of Prey, an Australian company that has an online design tool where you choose everything from style, heel height, trim, decoration and colour and they make your shoes for you. You can even order different sizes for each foot if you need to! I LOVE my wedding shoes and even with stretching they are still a bit too small. I’m sure it won’t stop me wearing them on special occasions but they were so comfortable before. (And they were very expensive, by my standards for shoes at least, so I definitely won’t be stopping wearing them if I can help it!) Here they are….oh I could weep!

I suppose I should just take this as a great opportunity to go shoe shopping…and I’ve already started by buying these beauties from Livie & Luca!

Livie & Luca

Did your feet grow during pregnancy? Did they ever go back to their pre-pregnancy size or are you stuck with big feet after pregnancy?!