For couples that have a new baby, it can be a busy and trying time. You are learning to parent, sharing your home, and making a home with general chores and jobs. There will be books to read, clothes to wash, and nappies to change; there will be much less time to do things as you did before having children.
Even the nighttime can be busy as there are night feeds and then early starts. So the question is, how do couples get used to this new way of life with all of its demands, about still find time to nurture their relationship? It is so important to remember that you were a couple before you were parents. Here are some ideas to help.
Plan Dates (and stick to it)
Before having children you could simply just say let’s go to the cinema tonight, and then you could do just that. But with a baby (or children in general), these things need to be planned out in order to really make them happen. Book a babysitter, put the date in the diary, and then make sure that you stick to it. Even if you’re tired when the time comes, make an effort to leave the house and just be together. If you don’t take time out as a couple, then it could lead to having to find expert divorce solicitors later down the line. So make plans, and then keep them.
Did you used to just message each other just because? What about just holding hands when you’re out shopping? Small things can make a difference, but can get forgotten about when you’re busy and have little hands to hold. Show affection with one another, just because. It can be fun and really romantic.
Acts of Service
Have you heard of the book, The Five Love Languages? It talks about five ways to show love, and each person will favour one over the others. One of them that can be particularly relevant with a new baby is acts of service; it really shows that you are putting your spouse first. It might be that you just say to them to head to the gym or run a bath, giving them time to read and relax. Or it could be doing one of ‘their’ chores for them, like taking the bins out instead of them. It shows that you put them first, and you never know, they are likely to repay the favour.
Take Five Minutes to Connect Each Day
Life is busy, but when you’ve got parenting to do as well as chores, life admin, and work, you can find yourself short on time with another day passing by. So decide together to take five minutes each day to connect. It could be that you put your phones away and switch off the TV, just so that you can talk. Find what works for you, and then make sure that the time happens each day. It may sound small but does make a difference.