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From poppy seed to pumpkin: 8 weeks pregnant

Monday 5th January

OK, so I skipped a few weeks in my updates. I made it through my second sober Christmas and New Year without any drama. We’ve told our parents and my brother and sister-in-law about the pregnancy now and they were all very happy. Today I went to the doctor to get my referral to the midwife service for my first scan, which should be towards the end of this month some time. I have to phone the midwife next week to arrange a booking in appointment, which they will come to my house for, if it’s the same as last time.

As far as pregnancy symptoms go, the nausea is here in full force now. Just like with Toby though, I haven’t been sick (yet!) but I’m feeling sick pretty much all the time though. Of course last time I didn’t have to deal with changing dirty nappies whilst feeling sick, nobody warns you about that with a second pregnancy do they? Grapes seem to be helping with the nausea for the moment, which I suppose is better than filling my face with biscuits, although there’s been a fair bit of that going on too! Other than feeling sick all the time I’m just exhausted. Even with very early nights and naps when I can I’m still permanently tired. I have no idea how I’m going to manage when I go back to work on Thursday. When I was pregnant last time I used to have a nap when I got in from work but now that’s the only time I get to see Toby so it’s just not feasible. I have to get up an hour and a half earlier than I did last time too. I think I’m just going to have a few weeks of going to bed straight after my tea and hope that the tiredness lessens a bit when I get into the second trimester.

Apparently the baby is the size of a raspberry now, and is starting to form fingers and toes! The last four weeks since we found out seem to have gone very quickly so I’m hoping the next four weeks do too.

 

- Sarah Leave a comment

From poppy seed to pumpkin: 5 weeks pregnant

Week 5
Monday 15th December

5 weeks pregnant and I’m definitely starting to feel it now. I can certainly feel something is going on, the only way I can describe it is like a feeling of filling up…oh, and if nothing else, the constant need to wee is a definite give away! I’m also feeling incredibly tired, which isn’t helped by the fact we are almost at the end of a very long term at school, and that Toby has been treating us to lots of sleepless nights lately too! I’m really hoping his sleep improves soon and I manage to catch up on some sleep of my own over the holidays. The other symptom which is starting to show its unwelcome presence is that I’m already getting that familiar queasy feeling. Fortunately when I was pregnant with Toby I didn’t suffer too badly with morning sickness – at least in that I was only actually sick a couple of times. But I felt sick constantly from about week 7 to week 12. I’m really hoping that if I have to have it at all this time, it disappears just as quickly…

Saturday 20th December

Hallelujah! Toby actually slept last night so I’m feeling a bit more human. I’m only really feeling sick if I leave it too long between eating. Although I’m really trying to keep my eating under control a bit this time and avoid putting on a stone in the first three months like I did last time! Fingers crossed I make it through Christmas without feeling too rough though. We’ve not told anyone yet – I think we waited until 8 weeks with Toby but I’m going to have to tell my mum in a day or two. We’re going to stay with them for Christmas and there’s no way I’d be able to not drink and keep the reason why secret! It still hasn’t really sunk in if I’m honest, the embryo is the size of a sesame seed and already has a heart, of sorts. That’s just crazy to think about but I don’t think it really feels real until the 12 week scan, and that still seems ages away – I haven’t even seen the doctor yet!

- Sarah 1 Comment

From poppy seed to pumpkin: 4 weeks pregnant

Week 4

Now the news is out I’m going to share these posts I wrote over the last couple of months, from when I first found out I was pregnant again…

Friday 12th December 2014

We decided to start trying for another baby so that hopefully we would have about two years between Toby and the new baby. But we also had to wait until I had the contract for my new job to make sure I got all my maternity pay. When we were trying for Toby it only took two months and we were hoping the same would happen again but I am more than aware that things don’t always work out the way we hope. Anyway, this time the first month it didn’t happen for us. So month two and we try again…although there wasn’t an awful lot of ‘trying’ going on (sorry if that’s a bit too much information!) as Barry got pretty ill with a nasty cold and I wasn’t feeling brilliant either so I was fairly resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t get pregnant this month either. But then my period was late. That wasn’t entirely unusual though – until trying to get pregnant last time I had been on the pill since I was 16 and so had no idea what my ‘normal’ cycle was. But when it got to four days after the latest my period could feasibly be I decided to take a test. I was planning on waiting until the weekend, but this morning decided I could wait no longer. I was pretty convinced it was going to be negative though – I just wanted confirmation so maybe I could have a glass of wine this weekend! But when I went back into the bathroom after resolutely ignoring the test for the requisite three minutes…..there were two lines! Positive! We’re having another baby. I can’t quite believe it… and with the way Toby has been sleeping this week I think we must be completely mental to be doing this all over again. No wonder I’ve been so completely exhausted!

It is easier with two, right??

 

- Sarah 11 Comments

And then there were four

Coming August 2015

I know it’s been very quiet around these parts lately, and if you follow me on Twitter you might have noticed I’ve not been around there much either. I’ve written lots of times over the last few months about how I’m busy at work and with more teeth, and one cold after another Toby’s sleep has been all over the place. That on it’s own would be enough to make anyone tired but when you add the first few months of pregnancy into the equation it’s no wonder I’ve been knackered!

Yep, that’s right. We’re expecting baby number 2 in August this year! It was entirely (and perhaps foolishly) planned as I’ve always had it in my head I would like kids two years apart and nature thankfully decided to cooperate. I’m now 13 weeks pregnant and apart from a bit of nausea over Christmas I’ve actually been feeling remarkably well. I am just incredibly incredibly tired. Most nights after we’ve put Toby to bed, had our tea and maybe watched an hour of TV I’m ready for my bed. Hence the almost complete lack of blogging lately.

We had the first scan on Tuesday and everything is looking good so far. The baby was jumping and flipping all over the place. I even think I might have felt a few little movements already, although it’s hard to tell at this stage. I’m almost past the point of just looking like I’ve been eating too much cake and I’m starting to have an actual bump now. I think the maternity trousers might have to come out for work next week, and I bought a couple of pairs of new maternity jeans in London last weekend too.

So there we are – our big news! Despite the tiredness and the recurring ‘oh Jesus, what have we done??’ feeling that keeps sweeping over me, we really are very excited and can’t wait to become a family of four in the summer.

Big brother

I’ve got a few posts that I have written over the last couple of months so I’ll be sharing those over the next week or so too, and then hopefully I’ll manage to keep up some sort of vaguely regular pregnancy updates too.

- Sarah 87 Comments

The New You Weight Loss Plan

New You

It’s that time of year when lots of us are thinking about getting healthier and perhaps losing some weight in the new year. Maybe you just want to shed a few of those festive pounds that seem to creep on over the holidays or perhaps you’ve got a lot of weight to lose. Whichever of these it might be then a meal replacement diet could help you on your way. Now I know this kind of diet isn’t for everyone, and there are some that argue it’s just a quick fix and doesn’t help you improve your diet in the long run. However, there is no doubting that this kind of diet does work (and I speak from experience here). It can be beneficial to choose a meal replacement diet if you find it difficult to make healthy choices as all the decisions about what to eat are taken away from you.

There are lots of different meal replacement diets on the market, some, like Lighter Life where you have to attend weekly group meetings, or others like the Cambridge diet where you have a personal consultant. If you would prefer to buy your meal replacement products online then there are a few options available too; The New You Plan is one of these options.

The New You Plan is a very low calorie diet (VLCD) which offers soups, shakes, hot meals, bars and snacks. They also provide 24 hour online support to their customers, along with an active Facebook community. There are a few things to consider before starting a VLCD and you should always check with your doctor that it is safe for you to use this kind of diet. If you are unsure if this is the diet for you there are some FAQs here.

If you would like to try The New You Plan then you can win a one week ‘Get Started’ bundle by completing the Rafflecopter below. The bundle contains 30 products and is currently retailing at a sale price of £41.99. The winner will be contacted by a member of The New You Plan customer services team who will help you choose the right products for you.

totalfoodreplace

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway ends midnight Sunday 8th February.

UK entrants aged 18 or over only

**Disclosure: I have not been compensated in any way for running this giveaway.

- Sarah 2 Comments

The New Year Tag

So I’m a bit late to the party with this post but seeing as I only went back to work today I think it’s allowed! Thanks to Donna at What the Redhead said for the tag. (If you’ve not seen Donna’s shiny new blog yet you should definitely head over and have a look by the way!)

What was your highlight of 2014?

It’s really hard to pick one highlight of last year. Nothing really major stands out as a highlight. Of course there were lots of highlights watching Toby grow and develop from a six month old baby who could only just sit up to a fully fledged, walking toddler. On a more personal note, losing weight and getting back on stage for Aida in October was brilliant and also winning my battle for redundancy from the council I worked for before my maternity leave when then couldn’t give me a job to go back to.

What are you excited for in 2015?

I’m going to be a bit cryptic on this one, hopefully there will be some very exciting times ahead for both Toby Goes Bananas and us as a family in 2015 but I can’t tell you any more than that at the moment! One thing I am definitely excited for in 2015 is finishing school for the summer holidays at the end of June, I’ll be counting down the days!

Any new year resolutions?

Not really. I’ve never really been one for new year resolutions. I have a vague idea that I want to try and find more time for blogging but unless work gets a bit easier as the year goes on I can’t see that I’m going to be hugely successful with that one.

Blogging high?

I think it would have to be working as a brand ambassador for both Lindam Munchkin and Konfidence this year. I was absolutely amazed when I was asked to work with such big and respected brands. I was sure my little blog wasn’t good enough or big enough but I was delighted to work with them, and in fact all the other brands I’ve worked with this year too. Apart from that I’m just proud of the record of Toby’s life that I’ve created. I don’t write as often as I’d like and sometimes I wonder if it’s really worth the effort but then I look back at all the memories I’ve captured here in my little corner of the internet and I know I’ll be glad that I did it, and hopefully Toby will enjoy looking back at it too when he’s a bit older.

Picture of the year?

This is so hard but I think this picture is one which will always, without fail, make me smile. The two people I love most in the whole world.

1129

 

I’m not going to tag anyone else because I figure most people have done their New Year posts already but if you fancy answering the questions then go for it.

- Sarah 2 Comments

Tiredness can kill. Take a break.

We’ve all seen those signs on the motorway, warning of the dangers of driving when tired, but what if you’ve only had four hours sleep because your son was up half the night and you’re already late for work because he had a tantrum when you had to get him dressed this morning. I would love to take a break, but who is going to take over while I do that?

Tiredness can kill

Toby is now almost 17 months old and I can count on one hand the number of times he’s slept through the night since I went back to work full time and he started nursery in August. What’s so frustrating is knowing that he can sleep the whole night. When he was about 10 weeks old and he started sleeping from 7pm to 8am (or later!) every night I have to admit I was one of those smug parents who was getting a full night’s sleep every single night. That carried on for about two months, until Toby had his last set of immunisations. He also caught a cold the same night and was awake on and off all night. Not long after that he started teething and since then it’s just been one thing after another. If he’s not teething he’s got a cold, or is going through a growth spurt, or learning to roll, or crawl, or stand up, or walk. I’m convinced that if we could actually have a night where there was nothing wrong with him then he would sleep just fine. But since this time last year we have never been able to say with any reliability whether he will sleep through or not. Occasionally he does, or quite often we just have one wake up and after a bottle Toby will go back to sleep. Those nights aren’t too bad but there are plenty of other nights where he can be awake two, three or four times, sometimes taking ages to stop crying and calm down enough to go back to sleep. We’ve even resorted to bringing him into our bed if he won’t settle but even that doesn’t always work (although at least nobody is crying!)

The other major disturbance to night time sleep is of course day time sleep – or lack of it. Toby’s naps at nursery are erratic at best. He still really needs two naps a day, and they do try at nursery but too often we pick him up to find he’s slept for less than an hour in the morning and has been awake since. This then makes for a very grumpy hour before bed and a very increased likelihood of waking up again within a couple of hours of going to sleep. I really don’t know what the answer to this is – he definitely still needs those naps. Last weekend at home he napped for nearly three hours in the morning and another two hours in the afternoon on Saturday and did the same again on Sunday. He can sleep at nursery if he wants to – when he was ill with a cold the other week he had a three hour nap there too. They have a separate sleep room and he’s usually there on his own. He has his sleeping bag and his teddy from home… other than being there myself I don’t know what else I can do.

The thing is I could cope with the sleepless nights when I was at home all day and I didn’t really have to do anything except look after Toby. If we’d had a really bad night I could have a nap myself when he was sleeping. But now, I try and go to bed early but there are some nights that I need to wind down, to eat dinner, to speak to my husband and I need more than two hours after Toby is in bed to do that. Then I have to get up at 6am (which is usually more like 6:15am) to get Toby to nursery at 7am so I can drive the 25 miles to work. Then I teach all day and have to drive the 25 miles home again, in the dark, on roads packed with thousands of other people. And that commute scares me every day. I am so tired I struggle to keep my eyes open; my reactions are definitely slower than they should be. And it’s not just me, how many other people on the road are sleep-deprived too? I reckon I’ll be incredibly lucky if I make it through the year at this school without having some sort of accident on the road. Because tiredness can kill. But I’m a parent and don’t get to take a break.

- Sarah 2 Comments

Q & A – a meme

I’ve not done one of these kind of posts for a little while so thanks to Donna at Redhead Babyled for tagging me. And without further ado I’m just going to get right down to answering the questions…

Where in the world would you most like to be right now?

I’d like to be in our forever house, somewhere in the north of England, with views of the countryside out of the window and a real wood fire burning, cosy on the sofa cuddling up with Toby and Barry watching White Christmas. Or failing that, I’d be quite happy to stay where I am, with Toby sleeping upstairs in bed and my lovely husband next to me on the sofa….as long as I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow!

What do you love most about having your blog?

I love having somewhere I can just write about whatever I feel like, and even better some people usually read it! I love that I’ve got a record of most of Toby’s life so far, in both words and pictures, which I don’t think I would ever have bothered doing if I wasn’t blogging about it. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say I love all the fantastic products we get to try out and review.

Who is the person that you most admire?

This is such a hard question to answer but I’m going to say my dad. My dad has always worked so hard to provide for his family. My whole life he has gone to work all day and then comes home and works some more. He’s 65 now and not looking anywhere near close to retiring. He’s also one of those people who can literally do anything he puts his mind to – he’s super-clever and works with computers (to be honest I’m not entirely sure what he does!) but he’s also the master of DIY, even though he lives 250 miles away and I’m now married with my own family I still get him to come and visit when there are jobs need doing in the house! On top of all that he’s also massively involved with the Scout Association and has been since he was a little kid. He does all sorts of things for Scouts, all for no payment or reward, other than the satisfaction of giving young people opportunities that they wouldn’t get anywhere else. In short, my dad is awesome!

What keeps you awake at night?

Toby! He’s still got a cold and has been teething FOREVER so we still get at least one wake up a night if not more. Apart from that nothing keeps me awake at night, I’ve always been a champion sleeper and I’m asleep within minutes of turning out the light.

What is your all-time favourite breakfast?

It has to be French toast (or eggy bread as we call it) with crispy streaky bacon and maple syrup! We first had this delight on our honeymoon in America and now reserve it as a special treat we only have on holiday. I think there are probably more calories than I’m supposed to eat in a whole day in one serving!

Which song makes you smile every time you hear it?

Up all night by Take That, or in fact pretty much any Take That song really. I’ve been to all the Take That tours since they got back together and I love them (so much I even forked out £95 for a ticket to next year’s tour!)

If you could go back and give one piece of advice to your fifteen year old self, what would it be?

Probably don’t start smoking and don’t drink so much! You’ll spend so much money that would have been better spent on something else and waste half the weekends of your twenties nursing a hangover. (Luckily I did learn these lessons eventually but I would have been easier (and cheaper!) to find this out when I was 15 instead of 25).

And just in case you were interested, here is a bit of a blurry picture of me when I was 15 (I was head girl at school and we had to wear those gowns for assemblies and formal school events!).

uniform photo

 

So there you have it, a bit more about me – thanks again Donna!

And now I need to tag a few more people, so if you fancy it it’s over to you…

Aby at You Baby Me Mummy

Vicki at Ellie Bear Babi

Kate at Family Fever

Hannah at Budding Smiles

- Sarah 3 Comments

Saying goodbye to the bottle

goodbye to the bottle

At 16 months old Toby is now almost bottle-free. I know technically he didn’t really need a bottle after he turned one but we decided to take a relaxed approach and see how things went. At 12 months he was still having three bottles a day (plus more if he woke up in the night) and our little routine was going so well we didn’t really want to rock the boat too much! The other reason I was a bit wary of getting rid of the bottle too soon was that Toby wasn’t very keen on drinking much from a cup and I wanted to make sure he was still getting enough to drink one way or another.

The first bottle to go was the one he had before his afternoon nap. When he started nursery in August he was being fed so much during the day (3 meals and 2 snacks) that he didn’t really need an afternoon bottle, although he still had one at home at the weekends for quite a while.

The next bottle we cut out was the morning one. A month or so ago there were quite few days when Toby had woken up sometime between 4 and 5am and had a bottle so there didn’t seem much point giving him another when we got up at 6:30am. This also coincided with him becoming more comfortable with drinking out of his cup (after trying every sippy cup on the planet we had more success with straw cups as for ages Toby wouldn’t tip a cup to drink) and us switching completely from formula to cow’s milk. So now when I get Toby up in the morning (or he gets us up!) we just give him some milk in his cup and he has that while I’m getting him dressed and ready to go out. He doesn’t always drink very much of it during the week when we don’t have very long to get up and out to nursery but I know he has more milk on his cereal and drinks plenty of water during the day anyway.

I was quite concerned though about stopping the bedtime bottle. A bottle before bed was such an integral part of Toby’s bedtime routine that I just couldn’t imagine how we would get him to bed without it. Especially since after starting nursery he had gone back to having 9oz bottles at bedtime rather than his previous 5 or 6 ounces. But, as usually happens, these things tend to sort themselves out if you let them. A few weeks ago Toby started completely refusing his bedtime bottle. He would maybe have a few mouthfuls but then push it away and get himself worked up if we tried to get him to have any more. And so, we decided to give him milk in his cup, along with some snacks (even after eating three meals and two snacks at nursery he still comes home hungry!) as soon as he gets in from nursery so he has time to drink plenty in the hour or so before bedtime.

This seemed to sort of work for a few weeks – he would go to sleep OK without his bottle but then wake up a few hours later and drain a full bottle. I was willing to persevere though and was hoping that he would eventually make it through the night without needing a bottle. However, last week Toby hurt his foot and was also teething, and I think having another growth spurt. His sleep was awful, he was waking up two or three (or more!) times a night and would only go back to sleep after having loads of milk and in an effort to get him to sleep a bit better the bedtime bottle has made a return.

To be honest I’m still not too worried about this at the moment. If Toby still wants a bottle a bedtime (and during the night) then for now I’m happy for him to have one. I’m confident that at some point he will decide he doesn’t want it any more and hopefully he might even start sleeping through the night again eventually too!

If your little one had bottles at what age did they stop? Did you do anything the wean them off the bottle or just leave it up to them to decide? I’d love to hear how you managed the transition.

- Sarah 5 Comments

The guilt

Being a mum and working full time is hard. During the week I see Toby for about half and hour in the morning when I get him up, dressed and dropped off at nursery. Thirty minutes where he’s often crying because I’ve had to wake him up at 6:30 am and I have to wrestle him into a clean nappy and clothes. Thankfully these days we rarely have tears when I drop him off at nursery but our mornings aren’t exactly enjoyable for either of us.

In the evening Barry picks Toby up at 4:30 pm after he’s had his tea at nursery. I usually get home from work at about 5 pm and have about an hour of play time before we have to put Toby in bed because he’s absolutely exhausted.

So during the week I see Toby for a grand total of seven and a half hours, while other people look after him for forty-seven and a half hours. I know he enjoys nursery, which is something at least, but it doesn’t stop me feeling sad and guilty that he’s not at home with me. Instead, I’m doing a job I don’t even like most of the time, looking after other people’s children, trying to teach them something they have no interest in learning.

And all this is bad enough when it’s going well. But on Thursday last week Toby fell, banging his ear on the edge of a table leaving a cut and a big bruise. The next day he crawled head first into a door stop and bumped his forehead. (And a few weeks ago he fell onto a table again, leaving a straight line bruise right across his cheek.) Then on Friday evening I noticed he wasn’t putting the heel of his right foot down. I thought it was a bit strange but decided to leave it overnight and see if he was still doing it on Saturday morning. Lying in bed that night I realised I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen him walk. He fell on Thursday and I couldn’t remember if I’d seen him walk on Thursday evening. My own child and I can’t even remember if he was walking or not. According to nursery he was walking while he was there on Friday, but if so something must have happened on Friday afternoon because he wasn’t walking by the time I picked him up.

I know all of these falls and injuries could just have easily have happened if he was at home with me. I know toddlers get bumps and bruises. But it doesn’t stop me feeling guilty. It doesn’t stop me thinking that if he had been with me then maybe he would be OK, or maybe at least I would have seen what had happened and we wouldn’t have such a mystery on our hands.

Because despite a trip to our local minor injuries unit on Saturday, a visit to our GP and to A & E today and two lots of x-rays, no-one can tell us what might be wrong with Toby or why he has stopped walking. They can’t see any breaks on the x-rays, he is still crawling and climbing, he is still putting weight on his bad leg and he doesn’t really seem to be in any pain. But he just won’t put his heel down so he has no balance to walk. So all we can do is wait. Give him Calpol and Nurofen and hope it improves on its own and if he’s still not better in a week we have to go back to A & E.

And while we wait I have to try not to let the guilt take over. I feel awful. I don’t want to take Toby to nursery tomorrow, to hand over the care of my child to other people so that in turn I can look after other people’s children. It doesn’t make any sense. And I’m so bloody tired. Toby still doesn’t sleep well. If we’re lucky there might be one wake up during the night, but more often there are two or three. It doesn’t help that he’s going through phase of only wanting me to comfort him so I have to be the one to get up to him. I just feel like I’m not doing anything properly at the moment. I’m being pulled in too many directions so I’m not doing my best at anything; being a mum, a wife, a teacher, a blogger even! I can do them all better than I am right now, but I can’t do better and do them all. But I have to. For the moment at least I have no other option. I just have to take a deep breath and keep on keeping on.

Apologies for the brain dump. I feel a bit better now.